Aarikku
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Chapter 5: The Lunch BreakShmod
Chapter Five
“Tyson! Tyson! Tyson!” The crowd cheered. “Tyson! Tyson! Tyson!”
“And now, I equip Noble Dragon with Nova Pendant, increasing its ATK to 4400!” Tyson announced. “Now – attack Metal Phoenix!” His dragon let loose a mighty roar that sounded decidedly like Linlan’s voice.
“Wake up!” Said the dragon.
Tyson did so, his head rising to meet the face of his mighty dragon, which was fading and being replaced by Linlan’s. “Aw, why’d you have to wake me up? I was winning.”
“Because you just fell asleep in the middle of the day. C’mon, it’s lunchtime and Kyle, Luke and I are hungry. Why are you so tired anyway?”
“I couldn’t sleep well last night. Kept working on my deck.” Tyson yawned as his stomach growled. “So, lunch, you say? Where are we going?”
“We can’t go too far. The first round’s almost over.” Linlan explained. “There’s a Kentucky Fried McBurger King just beside this store.”
“Blech. I lost my taste for that place when I actually tried a Kentucky Fried McBurger.”
“I recommend this!” Said an energetic Kevin, appearing from nowhere and slapping a brochure on the table.
“Ita… itadaki… itadakimasu?” Tyson eventually pronounced.
“Itadakimasu. The ‘u’ is silent. It’s a sushi-slash-noodlery-slash-teriyaki-slash-curry restaurant. Quite good. It’s just beside Kentucky Fried McBurger King.” Kevin explained. Tyson and Linlan looked at each other and shrugged.
“Oi! Kyle! Luke!” Linlan called; the two working on a deck for Luke some tables away. “We’ve got lunch plans!”
==
“…And people say he hasn’t walked since. What was your best game of Shmod, Kyle?” Kevin retold, walking with the increasingly-growing group.
“Probably that last one.” Kyle recalled. “Element versus Element. Mirror matches are cool. Plus, after the game, Jack gave me Light and Shadow Elements!” Kyle held up the two ghost-like Elements. “He said I deserved them for walloping him with them.”
“Sweet!” Tyson ogled the cards.
“So… who’s going to go for the Shmod Special?” Cassandra asked.
“The what now?” Luke wondered.
“Oh, right. Forgot that bit. If you can beat the chef at Shmod, you get your order – and the orders of everyone in your party – free.” Kevin explained. “You just need a coupon. I’ve been saving them.”
“I can take him!” Tyson decided. “What kind of deck does he use?”
“You’ll get to find out! We’re here.” Linlan observed, pushing open the glass door. The inside of the store was as basic as a restaurant could be. There was a bar at the back, booth tables scattered around the building and a door at the back where the kitchen presumably was. The group was greeted by a large man with a giant black mustache, and a larger still chef’s hat.
“A-hello! Welcome to-a Itadakima – ”
“Jeff, you’re still not Italian.” Kevin interrupted.
“Oh. Hi Kevin.” The chef muttered, broken-hearted. “Nice to see you. Please, have a seat.” They did so, and ordered various kinds of noodle dishes that were hard to pronounce. “And which one of you will be trying the Shmod Special?” Chef Jeff asked, eyeing one of Kevin’s coupons. After a seven-round Rock-Paper-Scissors, Jeff faced off against Linlan.
“Good luck, Linlan!” Tyson said happily. “If you lose, you’re buying my Unagi.”
“Thanks, Tyson.” Linlan shook her head, shuffling her deck. She spotted Jeff’s Fusion Stack. “You playing Elements?” She asked, remembering how Kevin had known Kyle’s decktype from a glance.
“Heh, heh… no. Let’s begin!”
Linlan had the first move. “I charge Rock Recoiler as Earth Mana – and tap it to play Forest! Next, I’ll sacrifice Forest for Bamboo Forest.”
“Interesting. A Panda deck. As for me, I charge Living Lunch, and tap it to play Raw Noodleman (1500)!” He played a card that few people in the group recognized – it depicted a humanoid figure made entirely out of uncooked ramen noodles. “I attack you directly!” (Linlan: 9 Life)
“Raw Noodleman? You’ve got to be kidding. My go!” She surveyed her cards, mumbling silently. “Alright. I charge Angry Panda, and tap both Earth Mana for Panda Scout and Panda Drummer, both at 1600 – 2100 with the boost from Bamboo Forest. Since I have a Panda in play now, Bamboo Forest lets me create a Bamboo Token on defence.”
“Impressive.” Jeff complimented.
“Thanks. I’ll take out Raw Noodleman and attack directly.” (Jeff: 8 Life)
“No more playing around! I tap two for my star card – Ramen Cauldron!”
“Linlan’s toast.” Kevin said, digging through his wallet.
“Ramen Cauldron lets me return Ramen monsters in my Graveyard back to my deck in order to cook a royal dish. Also, once per turn, I can send a Ramen monster from my deck to the Graveyard. For example, I send Sliced Sapporo to the Graveyard. Then, I return Sliced Sapporo and Raw Noodleman back to my deck in order to form Sir Sapporo!” Jeff tossed a card in his Fusion Stack onto the table. It depicted, like Raw Noodleman, a humanoid form made of noodles. This one, however, had an entire squid for a head and held a fork spear. It also had a cape, for seemingly no reason. “Sir Sapporo’s the first of my main courses. It’s got 2100 base ATK, and it gains 500 ATK when it attacks a non-Colourless monster, like any of your Earth-type Pandas.”
“I’m starting to think that the Shmod Company’s running out of ideas.” Luke declared bluntly.
“On the contrary,” Cassandra began. “Jeff used to be a Shmod Designer before he opened up Itadakimasu. He created the Ramen cards himself.”
“That’s crazy!” Kyle cried. “Anyone would be amazing at this game using cards they created themselves! He knows everything there is to know about them.”
“Hey, just be happy I didn’t make any of them ridiculously powerful.” Jeff shrugged. “Now, I attack your Panda Scout!” (Linlan: 8 Life) “You’re up.”
“Fine then… I create a Bamboo Token. I’ll tap one for Replenish. …Nice. Next, I’ll charge Bamboo Stalk and tap one for Hungry Panda!”
“She could use Hungry Panda’s effect, and sacrifice two Bamboo Tokens – it’ll be at 3000 ATK.” Tyson considered.
“But its ATK will go back down to 2000 at the End Phase. Something tells me that Jeff will find a way to summon another Fused Ramen card.” Kyle foretold.
“Better plan. I tap one for Bamboo Bo-Staff. This lets me transform a Bamboo Token into the Panda’s secret weapon, increasing Hungry Panda’s ATK by 800, clocking in at 2800. I’ll take out Sir Sapporo (Jeff: 7 Life) and attack directly with Panda Drummer!” (Jeff: 6 Life)
“Well done. But not good enough!” Jeff drew. “I tap two for another Ramen Cauldron!”
“Okay, now Linlan’s toast.” Kevin corrected, calculating his part of their order.
“Using each one, I can send two Ramen monsters to the Graveyard. I’ll send Raw Noodleman and Pasted Beans. Next, I return them back to my deck in order to summon Miso Mage!” The noodle’s cloak of green beans fluttered in the breeze depicted on Jeff’s latest monster. “When Miso Mage is summoned, I get to destroy all of your Spell and Traps. So no more Bamboo Forest or Bo-Staff.”
“Ah, no way!” Linlan gasped.
“Now, I’ll attack Hungry Panda!” (Linlan: 7 Life) “Your move.”
“I don’t intend on losing!” Linlan said. “I charge Spinachdad, and tap one to use Panda Drummer’s effect – I can search my deck for a Panda and add it to my hand. I choose Panda Brawler. Who, for three Mana, I can play. He’s got 3000 base ATK, which becomes 3500 since there’s another Panda on my field. Now, I’ll take out Miso Mage with the Brawler, and attack with the Drummer!” (Jeff: 4 Life)
“Sure. My go.” Jeff declared. “I’ll use my two Ramen Cauldrons, and send Sliced Sapporo and Zombie Unagi. Now, I use the effect of the Zombie Unagi I just sent! By discarding a Ramen monster from my hand, I can bring it back to the field. I’ll discard my Noodleman to revive it!” Jeff played the skeletal, rotting eel. “1000 ATK and DEF isn’t much, so it’ll defend.”
“Wait – unagi is eel?” Tyson cried.
“Uh… yeah.” Cassandra nodded.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me that when I was ordering? Blech. Eel.”
“You didn’t ask.” Kevin replied.
“I’ll also tap Living Lunch to summon Demon Broth in Defense Mode. You’re up.” Jeff passed.
“A’ighty. I should save my hand – and focus on attacking! I’ll take out both your monsters.”
“However, by destroying Demon Broth, you’ve made us both Scrap the top five cards of our decks… fuelling my Graveyard, but I don’t need the help.”
“What?”
“Behold! I use Ramen Cauldron! I fuse Raw Noodleman, Sliced Sapporo, Zombie Unagi and Demon Broth to create Lord De Luxe!” Jeff carefully played a 3000-ATK monstrosity from his Fusion deck. It had the head of Sliced Sapporo, the body of Raw Noodleman, one of its arms was an eel’s head, and it had an aura of Demon Broth. “Now, I use its effect. When it comes into play, it destroys all non-Food monsters, and adds them to itself!” Jeff explained. Linlan sent her Pandas to the Graveyard, as the Lord gained 1000 ATK: 500 for each. “You still have your Bamboo Token, but it’s not doing much anyway.”
“Okay, now Linlan’s toast.” Kevin pulled some bills and coins from his wallet. “That’s 9.65.”
“I am not toast.” Linlan argued.
“I beg to differ. I’ll attack with my Lord!” (Linlan: 6 Life)
“I’m not doing so well, but not toast. I tap two for Happy Panda and Charging Rhino… in defence mode!” Linlan decided.
“Heh. You’ll never win. Every turn, I can just summon another Ramen Fusion. A free Level Two monster per turn is more than almost any deck.”
“That’s not true. I’ll win.” Linlan’s eyes narrowed.
“I’d like to see you try. For my turn, I send Zombie Unagi and Raw Noodleman to the Graveyard, and then return them to my deck to summon Eel Necromancer. It’s got 2400 ATK, and I can remove a Food monster in my Graveyard to negate and destroy a Trap. Demon Broth got a few in there. No Ramen ingredients, of course, that’d be convenient. Anyway, I attack!” Both of Linlan’s monsters hit the Graveyard.
“Remember that Bamboo Token?” Linlan asked.
“Actually, yes.” Jeff replied. “0 ATK, 0 DEF, and I can attack through it. What’s your point?”
“They’re half my deck. A very important card.”
“Right.”
“It’s true! Watch this! I tap one for Quick Growth! This lets me create a Bamboo Token, plus another if I remove a Bamboo card from my Graveyard. Like Bamboo Bo-Staff.”
“So you have three.”
“Yep. And I tap two for Bamboo Spire! If I tribute three Bamboo cards, I can select a Spell from my deck and add it to my hand! I’ll pick the card of your doom: Yoink.”
“Oh.”
“Precisely. It’ll be a fun next turn. Enjoy.”
“Oh, I’ll enjoy. I send Noodleman and Zombie Unagi to the Graveyard again, and play another Eel Necromancer. I’ll attack with both Necromancers and my Lord!” (Linlan: 3 Life)
“Well then, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. I tap four to play Yoink!, and take Lord De Luxe. Now, I’ll attack one of your Necromancers.” (Jeff: 3 Life)
“Big whoop. During my turn, I’ll just use Miso Mage to kill Yoink!”
“Wrong! I tap one for Whirlwind, destroying one of your Ramen Cauldrons!”
“No! It’s inconceivable!” Jeff cried.
“What’s wrong? You just can’t fuse next turn.”
“No. When Ramen Cauldron is destroyed, it removes all Ramen Fusion monsters in my Graveyard from play, and I take 1 damage for each. I have exactly three.” (Jeff: 0 Life) “Well, a deal’s a deal. And just in time, your lunch is ready. No charge.”
“Thanks!” Linlan smiled.
“I knew you’d win! I knew it all along!” Kevin said, fumbling to put his coins in his wallet.
“Uh… sure.” Luke laughed; the group finally obtaining their lunch.
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“…and it’s a tie game! Unfortunately, as the second tie of the round, both players must be eliminated. My sincere apologies. Our sixteen contestants have been finally narrowed down to a mere eight!” The shopkeep announced, as the group returned to the shop. “The next round will begin in fifteen minutes. Take this time to work on your deck. One very important announcement – due to time constraints, rounds from hereon will be played with five life per player instead of ten.”
“Ooh.” Cassandra winced. “Time to switch to my backup deck. It’s too risky to use my Explosion Deck with only five life.”
“Top eight, top ei-ight.” Tyson did a small dance. “I only have to beat two more people to win.”
“My thoughts exactly.” Said Kyle. “This’ll be fun.”
Card of the Chapter is Lord De Luxe
[4] Lord De Luxe (Colourless)
(C) · Food · Ramen · Emperor
Raw Noodleman + Sliced Sapporo + Zombie Unagi + Demon Broth
When this card is fused, destroy all non-Food monsters on the field. This card gains 500 ATK for each card destroyed in this way.
ATK/ 3000 DEF/ 3000
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Naardaas
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(All Voices) Mental Note, never eat Japanese food with Dragon-Infused Leric.
(Male Voice) This chapter is silly, poking fun at fast food to the point of being mindnumbing, but a good chapter nonetheless.
(Female Voice) By the way, do you remember the Duel Monsters GX episode with nearly this same theme?
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Aarikku
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Yes, I do. But I think there's a food-related part/AKA evil chef in every literary work, so I don't feel too bad about it.
In fact, I distinctly remember a filler of Naruto in which they all use Ninja skills to cook Ramen.
Also, I have no idea what you mean by a winged lightning bolt.
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