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jadecavy
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 Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:04 pm Post subject: Okyanus Demons |
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Hi, I may be new here, but I liked the concept of creating your own cards, so I decided to try. I scanned the Create-a-Card forum for help and based my post on what I saw. Please assist me in whatever I did wrong (If anything). I understand that my art is not on the same skill level as the people's on here that I've seen, however, I enjoyed making my own creations. So, here we go!
(Level 1) Hydroworm
Catagory: Water - Okyanus
Text: This pitiful creature is a goon of Lord Okyanus. It travels in schools with other Hydroworms.
ATK: 1800
DEF: 1100
(Level 2) Hydromrow
Catagory: Water - Okyanus
Text: This card can only be summoned by equipping [Treleport] to a Hydroworm. You may scrap this card to inflict damage equal to this monster's attack.
ATK: 1100
DEF: 1800
(Level Five) Lord Okyanus
Catagory: Water - Okyanus
Text: This card gains the following effects based on the cards Vanished by the effect of [Sea Roots]: Hydroworm: +700 ATK/DEF for each Hydroworm. Hydromass Chimera: +2500 ATK/DEF.
ATK: 2800
DEF: 2500
(Level 4) Hydromass Chimera
Catagory: Water - Okyanus
Text: [Hydroworm] + [Hydroworm] + [Hydroworm]
Once a turn before attacking, you may remove one "Okyanus" monster in your graveyard from play and increase your Attack by 500. At the end of your turn revert this card's attack back to the amount it was before.
ATK: 3600
DEF: 2800
(Level 2) Okaraken
Catgory: Water - Okayanus
Text: When this card is vanished, add one level one [1] Okyanus from your deck to your hand.
ATK: 2300
DEF: 1900
(Level 1) Hydromite
Catagory: Water - Okyanus
Text: You may sacrafice this card after summoning it, to:
- Increase the attack of one [1] level one [1] Okyanus on the field by the current attack of this card
- Send one [1] level one [1] Okyanus from your graveyard to your deck, and shuffle
ATK: 500
DEF: 500
Mite Card:
^ Attack is actually 3000, defense 2700 ^
(Level two) Hydroschool
Continuous Spell
Increase the ATK and DEF of all your level one [1] Okaynus monsters on the field by 300, and then by another 300 for every other level one [1] Okaynus monster on the field. If no level one [1] Okaynus monster reman, this card is vanished.
(Level X) Hydroelectic Heart
Trap
If one of your Hydroworms is sent to the Graveyard, activate this card. Draw cards equal to the amount of mana tapped.
(Level 2) Hydrochum
Continuous Spell
If one of your Okyanus monsters is sent to the graveyard, return it to the top of your deck.
(Level 2) Sea Roots
Spell
Activate this card if you have a Lord Okyanus in your hand. Remove one to three [1-3] Hydroworms or one Hydromass Chimera [1] on the field from play and summon one [1] Lord Okyanus.
(Level 1) Substitute
Trap
If a level one [1] "Okyanus" is sent to the graveyard, summon one [1] Hydroworm from your deck to the field.
(Level 1 Extension
Equip Spell
This card may be equiped to any Okyanus monster. Increase the equipped monster's attack by 500.
(Level 1) Treleport
Equip Spell
This card can only be equipped to a [Hydroworm]. Remove one [Hydrormow] from your deck and exchange it with the selected [Hydroworm]. When this card is scrapped, scrap the equipped card.
PS - Okyanus means ocean in Finnish.
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Aarikku
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:07 pm Post subject: |
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I never really expected anyone in the CaC forum to make the cards in card format... I'll stick some templates in here.
It's kinda boring as is, being an effectless monster with sub-par stats.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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Ok. I still don't really have a handle on the basics yet, so I'll try and improve it later.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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Interesting, I agree, to have a card in this format. But I agree with Aarikku; the card seems a little weak. I turst you plan top support these well?
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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Of course. The point would be to have a couple of different cards used to enhance the effectiveness of this card, assist it and even sacrafice it to activate another card. (If that's allowed?)
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Aarikku
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:21 pm Post subject: |
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Sure it's allowed. If it turns into a stronger form, that's even the basis of Shmod's Transformation mechanic.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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Glad to hear you have your idea set before you. That's the best thing to know in designing.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:24 pm Post subject: |
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Alright, sounds good. I think that I'll make a couple of others without the images now.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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Good. They'll be interesting to see.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:25 am Post subject: |
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Alright, I added some supporting cards. I think I might have done something not acceptable in the rules*, but I'm not sure. Currently I'm also doing some other monsters.
*So each turn, you gain a certain amount of mana? And mana and traps cost mana to play? Is that how it works?
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Aarikku
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| Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 2:36 am Post subject: |
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Once per turn, during either of your Main Phases, you can place 1 card from your hand into your Mana Zone. The card is 'Charged' and it counts as Mana of the same Type as its own (Spells and Traps produce Colourless).
When you play a card, you tap Mana equal to the Level of the card you're trying to play, including at least 1 Mana that matches its type. The exception being Colourless monsters, Spells and Traps that can be played with any type of Mana.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 2:46 am Post subject: |
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Ok, thanks for the help.
I've drawn up a couple of images, which I'm attempting to scan. I have to reinstall the scanning driver, but once that's done I'll add the un-coloured images.
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Pyrah
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| Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:40 pm Post subject: |
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Can't wait to see them. 
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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If I know my friend as well as I know I do, none of us will be disappointed.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks. On monday, could I send them home with you to scan, by any chance? I can't seem to get my scanner working...
I added 2 new ones, one of wich Greg drew an image for. I'm putting that image onto a card now, however I can't find the right font. Which do you use?
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:39 pm Post subject: |
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It's close to the correct one, but slightly off. Vlose enough to be good though.
Oh, ands a typo; you wrote "Okyamus", instead of "Okyanus as written previous. And the background you used belongs to WATER cards, not STORM (although the cards probably should be WATER anyway).
And yeah, I can probably scan some images on for you, once I get my new GIMP loaded up. Which shouldn't take long, but I can't do that right yet.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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There's water? Oh, I'm saved! I couldn't find any evidence, although I didn't look hard. I'll fix all that, although I'll have to re-do the card, [posterior] I only saved it as a PNG. I'll do that later. As for the typo....
ENGRISH IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE! Thanks a lot. Good job.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:44 pm Post subject: |
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That was never my intention. Blame Dominick; he introduced me to it.
Yeah, there's WATER. Glad I could enlighten.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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Pretty pathetic I didn't notice that before...
The card effects are legit, though, right?
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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Well, I would think so, but better let the boss man decide that.
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jadecavy
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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In the meanwhile, I would recommend changing Okraken. 2500 is good, but without an effect it doesn't fit the theme well. I'd recommend an effect dealing with Hydroworms in some way.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:55 pm Post subject: |
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Ok. I'm going to revert it to text for now and change that. I'll fix the card later.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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Until then, I gotta commend you on how well tied together every other card is. Everything is nice and mainstream.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 10:01 pm Post subject: |
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Alright, I textified it and fixed some stuff.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 10:06 pm Post subject: |
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Nice effect, but in this game we don't go by name. Since you gave them the Okyanus category the effect should read: [When this card is sent to the Graveyard, add 1 Okyanus from your Deck to your hand.]
But hey, you're new; you didn't know. Good try.
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The seal on my existence is broken. My great dragon has arrived as pinnacle strength. And I have the last thing I need to exact revenge on those who banished me. I have the power over chaos, over life and death. The power of Drahondes. |
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jadecavy
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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Try 1 Level 2 or Lower Okyanus.
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Aarikku
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| Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 10:55 pm Post subject: |
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I notice that Lord Okyanus seems to like Hydromass Chimera as Mana, which it can't be as a Combination monster.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 12:49 am Post subject: |
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He's talking about for the effect of [Sea Roots], not Tapped as Mana.
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Aarikku
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 12:49 am Post subject: |
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Ah. That makes sense.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 12:52 am Post subject: |
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It's because he's new and isn't yet aware of wordings for the cards. Give him time, and he'll get the hang of it.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:32 am Post subject: |
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I'm not sure I understand, could you give me an idea of a better-worded phrase?
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:07 am Post subject: |
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[This card gains the following effects based on the cards Vanished to play this card: Hydroworm: +700 Strike and Guard for each Hydroworm. Hydromass Chimera: +2500 Strike and Guard.]
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Aarikku
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:18 am Post subject: |
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Or better yet:
This card gains the following effects based on the cards Vanished by the effect of [Sea Roots]: Hydroworm: +700 ATK/DEF for each Hydroworm. Hydromass Chimera: +2500 ATK/DEF.
Don't worry about writing Strike and Guard; those will only be used when/if I print them. And in The Shmod Saga.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:59 am Post subject: |
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Ah. Alright. I just saw it and assumed that was used to prevent people from feeling it's a copy of Yugioh, or something of the type.
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Aarikku
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:00 am Post subject: |
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That's part of it, but it's not important until I can get sued.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:11 am Post subject: |
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Ok. I understand. ATK and DEF then.
I also added substitute, hydromite and Exstension.
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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They look cool, except that the effect of Hydromite doesn't say how much it increases ther strength by. You may want to fix that.
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The seal on my existence is broken. My great dragon has arrived as pinnacle strength. And I have the last thing I need to exact revenge on those who banished me. I have the power over chaos, over life and death. The power of Drahondes. |
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Aarikku
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:45 pm Post subject: Re: Okyanus Demons |
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I'm gonna go for the full review. Comments in orange.
| jadecavy wrote: |
(Level 1) Hydroworm
Catagory: Water - Okyanus
Text: This pitiful creature is a goon of Lord Okyanus. It travels in schools with other Hydroworms.
ATK: 1600
DEF: 1100
It's very average. But I know that it has support down the road.
(Level Five) Lord Okyanus
Catagory: Water - Okyanus
Text: This card gains the following effects based on the cards Vanished by the effect of [Sea Roots]: Hydroworm: +700 ATK/DEF for each Hydroworm. Hydromass Chimera: +2500 ATK/DEF.
ATK: 2800
DEF: 2500
Since Sea Roots can Vanish 1-3 Hydroworm and one Chimera, its max ATK is 7400. This might be a problem that I'll elaborate more on when I review Sea Roots.
(Level 4) Hydromass Chimera
Catagory: Water - Okyanus
Text: [Hydroworm] + [Hydroworm] + [Hydroworm]
Once a turn before attacking, you may remove one "Okyanus" monster in your graveyard from play and increase your Attack by 500. At the end of your turn revert this card's attack back to the amount it was before.
ATK: 3600
DEF: 2800
Can it only increase its own ATK or the ATK of any monster? Either way, I have no problems with this.
(Level 2) Okaraken
Catgory: Water - Okayanus
Text: When this card is sent to the graveyard, add one card with Hydro in it's name from your deck to your hand.
ATK: 2300
DEF: 1900
I don't like using names for effects when we have these nice Categories that do the job better. I'm not entirely sure what to recommend, not knowing enough about Okayanuses.
(Level 1) Hydromite
Catagory: Water - Okyanus
Text: You may sacrafice this card after summoning it, to:
- Increase the attack of one [1] level one [1] Okyanus on the field
- Send one [1] level one [1] Okyanus from your graveyard to your deck
ATK: 500
DEF: 500
Depending on how much ATK the Okyanus gets, it'll range from very underwhelming to pretty decent support. The second effect isn't great, considering [Leap from the Deep] that can play Water monsters from the Graveyard.
(Level two) Hydroschool
Continuous Spell
Increase the ATK and DEF of all your hydroworms on the field by 300, and then by another 300 for every other hydroworm on the field. If no hydroworms reman, this card goes to the graveyard.
[color=orange]You could just have it as 300 for each Hydroworm on the field, considering that the original one will count as a Hydroworm on the field. You could probably get away with not having the downside effect.
(Level X) Hydroelectic Heart
Trap
If one of your Hydroworms is sent to the Graveyard, activate this card. Draw cards equal to the amount of mana tapped. Cannot be played if Hydrochum is in play.
Meh - Replenish is faster. Why can't it be played if Hydrochum is in play?
(Level three) Hydrochum
Continuous Spell
If one of your Hydroworms is sent to the graveyard, retun it to the top of your deck.
Oh, I see. You don't need that as an effect on Heart then; it just can't. Pretty nice support - or it would be, if Hydroworm was a card that you really wanted over and over again. You might be able to make it work for all Okyanuses.
(Level 2) Sea Roots
Spell
Activate this card if you have a Lord Okyanus in your hand. Remove one to three [1-3] Hydroworms or one Hydromass Chimera [1] from play and summon Lord Okyanus.
Here's the problem - where do those Hydroworms and Chimeras come from? If it's the Graveyard, then it's a 2-Mana 2-card combo for 7500 or whatever ATK, which is too much. If it's hand, then it's perfectly acceptable; though Chimera can't be in your hand as a (C) monster.
(Level 1) Substitute
Trap
If a monster with Hydro in it's name is sent to the graveyard, summon one [1] Hydroworm from your deck to the field.
Again with the Yugioh style of name support. With the exception of the fact that it gives Hydroworm four lives for one Mana, I like the idea.
(Level 2) Extension
Equip Spell
This card may be equiped to any Okyanus monster. Increase the equipped monster's attack by 500 and decrease it's defense by 300.[/color]
Blech. You could make this a Level One card and delete the downside effect.
PS - Okyanus means ocean in Finnish. |
Interesting ideas. A few overpowered cards, a few underpowered cards, but I like the ideas.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:10 pm Post subject: |
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I think for the Sea Roots, from the Field is the best bet. Then you need to do legwork for the bonus.
Hydrochum doesn't need to be LV3 as is. You can Either do what Eric said, or bump it down to LV2.
Hydromite can probably return the card from your Graveyard to your hand and be fine.
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Pyrah
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 11:01 pm Post subject: |
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I can't wait to see the card art for these, they sound cool.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:13 am Post subject: |
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They are. And the Okaraken looks cool; as Scott posted, I drew it. 
Everything seems much more in order. Improved greatly.
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jadecavy
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 3:36 am Post subject: |
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Ok, I added hydromite as a card. Yes, the image sucks. There is no shading, not even shell, and it looks like garbage. And yes, because of the anti-alias, that white showed up. Sue me.
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Aarikku
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| Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 3:39 am Post subject: |
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You know, you don't have to make them in card format.
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jadecavy
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| Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 3:40 am Post subject: |
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I know, but I find it slightly fun and it's something to take up my time.
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Naardaas
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| Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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Actually, living Arthropods don't usually have symmetrical shells, so it's fine.
But as for Ejderha, a few things are wrong with it: 1) You probably didn't know this, but there is a max. limit on LV3 monsters of 3500 ATK, and to have an effect like that means that even 3500 is too high. I tried doing the same thing once though, so don't feel bad.
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